I am not just a geek, I am an executive geek. That means I love technology, cryptic language, and understanding how things work. It also means I manage stuff, a lot of stuff. I often work into the wee hours of the morning, sleep and eat and interact with others sporadically.

Especially frustrating for those who deal with me, my priorities are dynamic and I have way too many goals and objectives to explain why priorities change so rapidly. I have a plan, but it is a results oriented plan: I go where I need to go to get where I need to get. The only restrictions that limit which path I choose are matters of ethical and moral consideration. So long as I do not trespass on the rights of others, I may take a direct route, however uninspired , or I might wander and discover an otherwise unexplored solution.

I develop systems and processes, automated or otherwise, both in my personal life and professionally, intended to handle simple tasks reliably with minimal involvement from me or others. Doing this increases the time I or others might devote to the creative thinking that deepens understanding and often provokes novel solutions to complex problems.

I don’t have a schedule. Goals and objectives have schedules. As a person, I am opportunistic: I act whenever I have sufficient information to act with purpose. I appear to procrastinate while waiting for that information. I have tried with little success to explain why procrastination is the art of good timing. It frustrates everyone in my life. So, if you call and I don’t answer, I am either asleep (because something more pressing came up the night before), or I am focused on something else to the point of being oblivious to anything that doesn’t command a higher priority. In any case, if you turn to someone else, it will probably be the right thing to do. If you have no one else to turn to, it’s probably going to work out well if you wait for me.

The appropriateness of my behavior depends on who is judging me and what I am doing. If I am solving a problem for you, you love me. If I am solving a problem for someone else, you feel ignored at best or exasperated to the point of dissolving our relationship.

I don’t know if giraffes are intrinsically better designed beasts than field mice. I don’t know if my mentality is emerging or on its way to extinction.

In this life, I am no more than a candle waiting to be snuffed and whatever light I cast will not long be missed.

The only obligation I have as a human being is to be transparent in and true to my projection of me. Those who see me, see me as I am.

I believe that in human relationships, it is the combination of each person’s integrity that creates the lens through which we clarify our mutual understandings and expectations. It has at times been a painful process of maturing, to understand that my integrity does not alter what someone else sees in me or themselves. Such is life.

I know my own importance depends on the importance others have in my life. I’ve learned that being of service to others, for free and for fun, is an illogical leap into true happiness. In the final analysis, the battle is won by those who engage, but do not fight; who spark controversy that lights the tunnel so that others might find a more rational passage.

There is always too much to learn. I love to learn. I believe real learning dissipates illusions we conjure from the physical pain and mental anguish that comes with being born and persists to the end of our days. But as such illusions are dispelled, I realize, I love to learn because I learn to love.