MUCH OF our time is taken up with mundane maintenance chores. Most of the rest is filled with doubt and contradictions. Whether or not we deny it, more often than we wish, we are uncertain and afraid.
It’s only life! We can face our feelings or we can create a fantasy. Without justifying or explaining, we can simply deny whatever challenges the fairy tale vision of our selves. To accomplish this, we may have to disavow whole experiences. Getting really carried away, we could completely dissociate those episodes that contradict our story. The extreme example of this is Dr. Jekyll and his alter ego, Mr. Hyde.
Another reason we might want to create a fantasy is the perception that it will protect us from our own pain. As one woman said, “I need to fit perfectly into someone else’s mold. Otherwise, I experience all my own feelings.”
Avoiding our feelings can cause more pain than facing them.