From time to time, all of us get tired of taking care of ourselves. When we’re stressed or unhappy, we especially need a chance to be taken care of as if we were a child.
At the end of a long, difficult day, how good it is to return home to someone who cares about how we feel! Like a child, we can come to them for parenting, and like a mother or father, than can take us in. It’s the sort of momentary comfort that may get both partners through life.
Rather than actually trying to fix the other’s feelings, the one fulfilling the role of parent needs to be available to listen to feeling and communicate, “I’m here and I care. I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. I’m willing to hurt because you hurt, and to be respectfully careful not to tell you how you should feel or what you should do.”
If this can happen without the two forgetting they are adults, then tonight’s pretend parent can be tomorrow night’s pretend child.
Comforting each other is not just child’s play.