“The only trouble with my life is that none of it makes any sense. I’ve always felt more dead than alive.” If this is your complaint, then typically your unexpressed fear would be, “What if this means I’m really crazy?” or “What if in trying to find a self of my own, I discover that, like an onion, once all my outer layers are peeled away, there is nothing left?”
Self-examination may feel like peering into a black hole in deep space. Fortunately, in seeking the center of your self, you will find no dreaded bottomless pit of emptiness and the monsters you fear will be only passing sights.
If you come to accept this and still refuse to turn and look within, could it be you fear that what you’ll learn is that you are no different than anyone else? If you accept your ordinariness, you will also have to give up your harbored notion of being special. But, in place of superiority is your genuine, precious uniqueness, which like love, cannot be earned, won, or lost. It is your personal treasure and the foundation on which to build the home that is your character.
Making an inner journey is risky business- it can transform your life.