Caring about others from the abundance of a full heart can be a wonderful offering to others. But, if self-sacrifice is a way of filling an empty place in the giver, often the result is a kind of martyrdom. The self-serving martyr may ask more in return than the other person receives.
When giving comes with strings attached, the receiver isn’t necessarily obligated to the giver and need not be burdened by the quilt that the giver is covertly contracting for. Instead, we can beware of martyrs bearing gifts and to tell them, “Do me a favor: Don’t do me any favors!”
Or if we feel entitled to being treated well and also free from unwarranted obligation, we can simply say, “Thanks a lot,” take the money, and run.
A gift is not a loan that requires repayment.