Reaching out to make other people’s lives more pleasant can bring us happiness as well. But it is not enough for those of us who are devoting ourselves to saintly self-sacrifice and service as a way of trying to overcome the belief that we are undeserving. It’s a bit like baking cakes for everyone else and limiting celebration of your own birthdays to licking off the icing that gets smeared on your fingers.
There is a balance point we each must find that best serves how we want to live- somewhere along the continuum of taking care of other people and taking care of ourselves. Often, it’s a difficult judgment call. Some of us do too much for others and not enough for ourselves, while some others do the opposite. It is helpful to understand which direction we usually lean toward. Once our inclinations become clear, we can deal with uncertain situations by trying to err in the opposite direction.
Learn to make mistakes that are the opposite of your usual errors.