THERE’S A vast difference between feeling guilty about what I do and feeling ashamed of who I am. I can change what I do, but how am I going to change who I am?
I may feel guilty when I choose to do something that is not permitted— when I lie or cheat. If I do something wrong, I have the possibility of being a worthwhile person who has done a bad thing. Shame, on the other hand, is an overwhelming experience, implying that I’m basically inadequate, making me feel like I need to cover up.
To complicate matters, I may feel guilty about being ashamed of something I’ve done. Or I may have a secret sense of pride for being better than others who don’t have the good sense to feel guilty. Then I may feel ashamed at having been pleased with myself for feeling pleasure over a petty moral victory. The tricks of the imagination are beyond counting. That’s part of why it’s so difficult to live a sensible life.
There’s no need to create any more misery than life already requires.