AS IN theater, the power of pretending can move the audience to sympathy, anger, grief, and relief. If pretending can call forth such powerful responses in free agents who have merely stopped by for a few hours of entertainment, we can only begin to imagine what it may evoke in someone who grows up trapped in a setting where family members only pretend to be what they seem.
Our perception and understanding are determined to a significant degree by the unconscious forms our imagination imposes on every experience. Whether or not we are aware of it, when we enter into a relationship we each bring preconceived ways of thinking and reacting. However, if together we become aware of each other’s hidden ploys, then our mutual, expanding consciousness can shift the scene. In other words, if both of us realize that you have become a player in my personal drama and I have become a player in yours, then we can collaborate to work out new and original stories.
We can avoid replaying our powerful past by distinguishing clearly
between past, present, and future.