The tradition of early spiritual leaders teaches that self-conscious spirituality is no spirituality at all. One story tells of a certain monk, a solitary celibate, who met some nuns on the road and fled at the sight of them. The abbess spoke to him wisely, saying, “If you were a true solitary monk, you wouldn’t have looked close enough to see that we were women.”
The teachers also warned that it is easy to be tempted to take pride in one’s humility. Another story tells how a young brother took the habit and announced, “I am going to be a solitary.” But when the older men heard him, they came to his cell and threw him out, making him go to the cells of each brother saying, “Forgive me, for I am no solitary, but have only now tried to become a monk.”
Self-conscious spirituality and prideful humility are contradictions in terms for any era’s pilgrims who hope to find a path to personal peace.
If we pay attention to personal peace, we interrupt our spiritual quest.