Many people have been taught that anger is bad. Some have been raised to believe that even feeling angry is wrong, and that expressing it openly is far worse. Despite these expectations, we find ourselves enraged at times.
When we were very young children, we already had much of what we seek on our adult spiritual quests. We lived in the here and now, and acted with the Zen spontaneity of “first thought, best thought.” When we were angry or hurting, we cried out, and as soon as our frustrations were eased, we returned to seizing the joy of the moment.
Now as adults, we repeatedly hold back our anger and try to ignore our resentment, but then our feelings burst out unexpectedly. We express our hostility at inappropriate times, directed toward people who don’t deserve it, in ways that are exaggerated by the buildup that accrues because of our denial. We’re better off being aware of our anger as it occurs than denying we feel resentful and ending up unpredictably irritable.
Denial increases the dangers of what we fear.