Becoming our own selves should not be confuse( with being selfish or self:centered. We cannot become our selves without recognizing the ways we need to be with others and how we need to love other people. We can’t test our values and feelings in a vacuum. We can’t experience joy without reaching out.
Obsessing about ourselves is not enough. As the Hasids tell us, “You can rake the muck this way, rake the muck that way it will always be muck. Have I sinned or have I not sinned? In the time I am brooding over it, I could be stringing pearls for the delight of heaven.
Worry if you must, but get on with living your life.