{"id":2702,"date":"1992-07-29T22:59:29","date_gmt":"1992-07-29T22:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/?page_id=2702"},"modified":"2016-06-25T23:08:04","modified_gmt":"2016-06-25T23:08:04","slug":"blues-aint-nothing-but-a-good-soul-feeling-bad-0729","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/?page_id=2702","title":{"rendered":"07\/29"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"BluesAintNothingBookCover\"<\/a>IN Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst writes, \u201cParents unconsciously use and misuse their children. Do well. Make me proud. Don\u2019t aggravate me. The unspoken deal is this: If you will bury the parts I don\u2019t like, then I will love you. The unspoken choice is this: Lose yourself or lose me.\u201d<\/p>\n

When family rules from our childhood carry over to adult love relationships, often they translate into attitudes such as, \u201cWhen I\u2019m upset, you\u2019re wrong!\u201d If you are the one usurping the power, taking the position as parent, your mate is apt to retaliate just as a child might, by withdrawing or rebelling. There are many adult versions of these behaviors. For example, when we\u2019re unable to get our own way, we may settle for trying to prevent others from getting their way.<\/p>\n

Whether you\u2019re the one blaming or you\u2019re the one protecting yourself, it\u2019s helpful to wonder why you are not acting or reacting in loving ways with someone you love. Usually, you\u2019ll find that the bottom line is fear\u2014 fear of losing yourself, the other\u2019s love, or both.<\/p>\n

When we run scared, our capacity for love is limited.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

IN Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst writes, \u201cParents unconsciously use and misuse their children. Do well. Make me proud. Don\u2019t aggravate […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"full-width-page.php","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2702","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":false,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2R4NI-HA","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2702","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2702"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2702\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2717,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2702\/revisions\/2717"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodsoul.us\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2702"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}