MANY VIABLE love relationships involve the pairing of opposites. If both partners are overly cautious, they may never do anything adventuresome. If both are exceedingly bold, they may destroy themselves by being recklessly impulsive.

When your partner and you are very different from each other, you can count on each other for those qualities that do not come easily to yourself. Ironically, these same differences that enrich and strengthen your relationship also encourage the recurrent clashes that cause the most pain.

Whatever the content of any couple’s quarrels, the differences in their styles usually underlies most arguments. Recognition, acceptance, and a sense of humor about these differences help you make relationships that are lasting, rather than simply chronic.

Mutual hobbies are nice, but a couple’s common interest needs to be their relationship.