SOME LOSS of love is inevitable. One way or another, every love relationship ends. In long-lasting loves, it may be no more than the matter of who dies first. In some friendships, one partner simply outgrows the other. Even in the best and most enduring kinds of caring, every so often discord disrupts the comfortable closeness. During those messes, it’s difficult to remember how much someone else matters to us.

We all know that the better it feels to be close to someone, the worse it is when we feel apart. Some people are so frightened of being abandoned they’ll do almost anything to avoid facing the pain of loss. To play it safe, they sacrifice whatever closeness they might enjoy by keeping their distance. If there is even a hint that the beloved may be backing off, rather than risk being deserted, they scuttle the relationship.

Having no love to lose is a safe, sad way of living.