How are we to know what is real and freely chosen, what is here and now? For some people, checking on what others thinks helps. But even if everyone else believes we should act in a particular way, does conscience by committee result in right living?
Sorting out when we have options and when we do not is often difficult. Without any possibility of being certain of our assessments, we must learn to do the best we can and to find it sufficient. And when we have done all that we can, we must learn to give up and to forgive ourselves for not having been able to do more.
The option of lonely independence versus self-sacrificing conformity is only one of the polarities that we must each face completely on our own with only the higher power within each of us as a guide.
Making decisions on our own is better than allowing others to choose for us.