The way we think and talk about problems reflects not only how we feel but also influences what we will do to solve them. If, for example, we believe that we can’t stand the pressures of work and family obligations anymore, we may talk ourselves into feeling desperate enough to do anything to get out. No matter how shortsighted or irresponsible our actions might be, at that moment, we are choosing to disregard the fact that the consequences of getting out will only create more pain.

Instead of adding to our misery, another option is to recognize that no matter how dreadful our distress is, we can stand it- we know that because we already have stood it. Once we understand that our apparent need to escape is simply a wish for relief, we are free to choose solutions that won’t create new problems. Sometimes the best idea is simply to wait problems out. In the meantime, it helps to have someone around who knows what we’re going through, and who cares enough to support us without making things worse.

After all, it’s only pain. Although it may seem unbearable, it will pass.