People who want to establish long-term, intimate relationships must be ready to make commitments. No matter how wonderful it feels when we first fall in love, we can be certain that there will be some hard times ahead. The golden glow of idealization will flicker from time to time. Eventually it will fade away.

Most romantic relationships begin with idyllic passion, but it takes more than this to maintain whatever remains worthwhile. Inevitably, we begin to see each other’s wrinkles and warts as well. Still, the promise of “for better or for worse, till death do us part” poses its own sorts of problems. Devotion is crucial to enduring the ordeals of discord, yet knowing that you are staying together by choice helps to make hard times easier to bear. The unbearable feeling of being helplessly trapped makes it more difficult for couples to be patient enough to work through their conflicts.

When the going gets tough in a relationship we must learn to work together.